The Kingdom of Biscotti

“One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of accidentally becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem involved in becoming your own father or mother that a broad-minded and well-adjusted family can’t cope with. There is no problem about changing the course of history – the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end. - Douglas Adams, from The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe

…And this is why HomuHomu will forever fail in protecting Madoka T_T

KYUBEY ALREADY KNEW THIS.

Okay, the endless despair farm notwithstanding (redacted, Homura’s wish has surpassed entropy, aka it’s HomuHomu’s ultimate dick move to QB), HomuHomu Time was probably the most revealing episode of the show. Basically, apart from HOMUHOMU MOE and GOLFMURA, it’s been revealed that she’s been proving dead old Douglas Adams right when it comes to time travel. Here’s the events that are supposed to happen:

• MAMI DIES. ERRYTIME. ALL THE TIME. (FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU)
• Sayaka, if she contracts, becomes a witch and DIES.
• Kyoko DIES. And only comes in when Sayaka contracts. Kyoko is also lesbian, I think. :3c
• Madoka WILL contract, and then die/become a witch after Walpurgis Night.

And even if HomuHomu DOES change something, well, something or other will come and trip every single death flag. Because they’ve been already tripped.

Yes, the Douglas Adams quote does work for multiple timelines, at least for the purposes of Madoka. Or maybe I’m assuming that the Madoka timeline is a single unbroken one.

Ahem, now character analysis. Mostly to troll my other half :3c

Please keep in mind that these are young girls in the throes of puberty, PMS and other… nasty things. Witches notwithstanding, of course. Cut them a little slack and try to understand where they are coming from.

Sayaka:

A bit overdue, to be honest. It would be simple to assume that Sayaka had certain moral standards that she chooses to follow, but to truly understand her despair spiral, we have to realize one thing: She’s seeing her ideals being crushed one by one.

First of all, there’s the guy she likes. Her insecurities and her wish has made her apprehensive about approaching him. And then Hitomi tummy punches reveals to her that she too has an interest in the same guy. Then there’s the whole “ZOMBIES” reveal. And then Sayaka chances upon two guys talking about how they were about to commit adultery.

…Which leads to that moment with Kyoko. Sayaka realized that her ideals were naught but dung in light of the world and promptly fell into despair. She could not handle protecting people who did not deserve it and became a witch.

Madoka:

PTSD. From seeing your friends DIE. TWICE. No wonder she’s emo. She’s probably grieving and reliving the moments AGAIN AND AGAIN. I am not surprised she hasn’t chosen to contract. Yet. But considering the poor girl, she’ll probably contract soon. Let’s hope it’s “I wish this Wish was Never Wished in the first place”, just to troll QB.

There’s also the Madokas from previous timelines. Watch as she tumbles from NanoMadoka to being forced to make the stupid wish to save her little town. Why isn’t this a Rider show, I have no idea. Then again, get Gen away from Kamen Rider.

Kyoko:

OKAY IN TIMELINE 3 SHE WAS COMPLETELY INNOCENT AND HER DEATH WAS TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. I agree with everyone that Madoka did the right thing after Kyoko bit it, but refer to below. Also two girls loving one another, while totally wrong, is also a beautiful thing. Especially if they were MADE FOR EACH OTHER. LIKE KYOKO X SAYAKA.

Have I mentioned the crazy spinoff where Kyoko becomes a full-blown lesbian and does all the stupid things to nail her girl? :3c

Mami:

She. Is. Emotionally. Unstable. And. Probably. Broken. Inside. Which. Explains. Her. Flipping. Out. Over. Sayaka. Becoming. A Witch. And. The. Whole. Shooting. Kyoko. Thing. And. That. Nonsense. in. Episode. 3. I. Mean. If. You. Lost. Your. Whole. Life. In. An Accident. Together. With. Your. Parents. And. Then. You. Realize. That. You. Are. Forever. Alone. You’d. Probably. Do. The. Same. Thing. Too. Oh geez people. And I’m not even trying to be a fanboy here. (And there’s the whole “I like emotionally unstable/broken girls” thing)

Homura:

Great way to blow a single wish, HomuHomu. I take that back. Screwing with QB is a GREAT way to take revenge. But still, there are things to consider. Not only are you TERRIBLE at being a magical girl, you keep screwing up without realizing the first rule of time-travel: You’re screwed if you try to change the timeline. If things aren’t already set in stone, the DenLiner WILL come and run you over. Guaranteed.

But it’s okay. You are still very, very moe for trying to protect Madoka from her fate :3

QB:

:trollface: :awesomeface:

…That’s pretty much it for him. I mean, how much analysis do you want me to make for a cute but heartless salesman whose pitch is undeniably one of the best things to happen in the field of selling things? Whose purpose is to supposedly stop the heat death of the universe by harvesting despair? I mean, the thing’s DISGUSTINGLY ADORABLE.

Oh well, I know the post is late and all, but I’ve been busy and stuff. But episode 11 is delayed until Japan recovers from the triple threat of earthquake, tsunami and a massive nuclear power plant plant failure, so…

LESBIANS. MOE LESBIANS. EVERYWHERE.

I’M SO SORRY SAIKANO CREATORS I THINK THIS IS YOUR PICTURE I APOLOGIZE FOR USING IT WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION T_T BUT IT IS ABOUT THE TERRIBLE EARTHQUAKE AND I LIKE KAMEN RIDER SO D:

The only thing that could make these pictures better of it was ALL the Heisei Riders were pictured helping, along with the Shinkengers.

IF I HEAR ONE MORE BAD PUN…

Unknown to everyone, I am hearing Aoki Ume sing. And it is DISGUSTINGLY ADORABLE. LIKE HER WORKS. How did Shinbo trick her into doing the designs for Madoka ASTOUNDS me.

…Until the next episode, I guess. Which doesn’t seem to want to come out to play until SPRING.